My Wife (10 minutes)

Imagine a world where all men died. Women have taken over the globe. I happened to be born to this “New Paradise,” claimed the politicians. Don’t ask me how the same-sex reproduction is even possible. My mum told me I just jumped out of her tummy one particular day when she had too much Thai food.

I read from the encyclopedia that the world used to be dominated by heterosexual hegemony, heterosexual monogamy as a matter of fact. But now that dangerous liaisons won’t lead to newborn babies monogamy is no longer on the go. From the definition of the old Oxford Dictionary we are all libertines. Marriage is no longer a part of the institution. People just stay with whomever they like and once they grow tired, voila, goodbye.

I am one of the peculiar being in this society for I cannot help but imagine myself in this good old world where marriage still exists or even functions. I would like to find my Mr Right, like in those old school chick-flicks. But judging from the lack of male in our planet I will have to make do with a Miss Right. So it happens a girl is interested in me, and I am thinking what if I just seize this chance and make her my wife, and re-enact the old good system of marriage.

This girl must be really in love with me for she doesn’t find my idea completely insane. She says she would do everything to keep me happy, and she is willing to become my wife if that shall be the case. But we have a rough start, where can we get married? We need a church, but in this era people have all lost their religions and we are short of priests—the oldest one died a decade ago. The churches have been renovated to museums, funny though, we actually have to pay for entrance. I don’t think that many people are tempted to visit this relic of the past century. And they are not that uncommon anyways. In Berlin there are already more than a hundred church museums.

So we can’t find a legitimate church, nor can we find a living priest. We just cannot get married. I suggest my girlfriend that we just get married spiritually. We tell everyone we are wife and wife, and we don’t give it a damn if they laugh at us. My wife says why not. She will do whatever she can to keep me happy.